[fic] Casey's Evaluation of Subject 'X'

[frea_o]

I joined a writing LJ comm, and they have weekly challenges. The one I decided to participate in was "spend 150 or more words describing your character" and I didn't want to just blather about Chuck for 150 words...so I let Casey do it.  Here's his first evaluation of Chuck Bartowski, after Chuck saved the day with the porn virus at the Millennium Hotel.

And no, typing that will never get old.
- Frea




PROJECT NO. OR ID: Operation Cassandra // INTERSECT PROJECT
DATE: 28 Sep 2007
EVALUATING OFFICER: Major John Casey, NSA.
SUBJECT NAME: [Redacted; Refer to Subject as ‘X’]
REASON FOR EVALUATION: Asset as a Potential Recruit
SUBJECT DESCRIPTION:

Height: 73”
Weight: 180 lbs.
Sex: Male
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Brown
Race: Caucasian
Identifying marks: Scar in the shape of Cassiopeia on left shoulder, mole on right side of the neck.

RECOMMEND FOR OP: Y/N? N.
REMARKS:

With all due respect, ‘X’ is not a good candidate to participate in Operation Cassandra. I could go out, train a monkey, have it train another monkey, and the sleepy younger sibling of that monkey would make a better candidate for this operation than ‘X,’ who lacks the ability to follow a simple order. Also, if the girlish screams on the attached media are any indication, perhaps ‘X’s purpose would be better served hosting tea parties for small females and not serving in the field for the NSA and CIA.

In addition, ‘X’ provides a risk that the true workings of Cassandra could be discovered by or put civilians in unnecessary danger. ‘X’ lives with his older sister, a Dr. [name redacted, hereby referred to as ‘Brain Doc’] and sister’s boyfriend, a Dr. [name redacted, hereby referred to as ‘Awesome’]. ‘X’ is rarely seen outside of the company of one [name redacted, hereby referred to as ‘Moron’], a coworker at the big box electronics store that he maintains as a cover. I am positive that given the nature of their friendship, ‘X’ and ‘Moron’ have no concept of the meaning of secrecy.

Though ‘X’ does have a background in electrical engineering, he has no college degree to his name and seemingly no career aspirations beyond repairing computers for a chain electronics store. The evaluator will confess that ‘X’ is perhaps a little more clever with computers than the evaluator gave him credit for (see attached incident report RE: the Millennium Hotel), but that in no way makes up for the lack of motivation.

‘X’s ability to process the Intersect is also a mark in his favor, but his inability to deliver intel in a timely, concise manner (without rambling for five minutes and throwing in at least three references to popular culture) could prove a liability during a mission.

I would also like to express concern that ‘X’ is quick to form emotional attachments that could prove problematic down the line. ‘X’ does not seem to understand that the cover story that he is romantically linked to Agent Walker (see attached personnel file: WALKER, SARAH L.) is fiction and should not be acted upon, and I have caught him making cow-eyes at the CIA agent twelve times in the past twenty-four hours.

Unless the Intersect is removed quickly from ‘X’, I feel that this asset will continue to be a liability. Swift action should be taken to neutralize the problem—preferably before ‘X’ and ‘Moron’ attempt to sabotage my surveillance capabilities by making real on their threat to watch all ‘Star Trek’ films as a marathon event.

Sincerely,
Major John Casey, NSA

Comments

[unwritten-muse.livejournal.com]

First, I have to say how much I love the creative way you chose to do this character study. You made what could have been a dry recitation of facts into something a lot more fun. This is yet another fandom I don't know much about, but you really brought Chuck to life. The specific examples are both funny and endearing, and I like that Major Casey has to begrudgingly admit the positive marks for Chuck even while he can't say enough about the negative. This definitely made me smile.

[frea-o.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad to have made you smile, which is all I ever really want out of writing. Chuck's a fun fandom with quite a few insane people writing in it, but given the abysmal ratings, I'm not surprised that it's not more popular. I'm glad, though, that the intent was able to come across. I was partially inspired to write the scene this way by a book review called Mark Reads Twilight (apologies in advance if you're a fan), where he's so disgusted by the book by chapter 9 that his review of that chapter is a coroner's report of how it killed him, down to little details like how much his brain weighed. I like when people find different ways to accomplish the same goal, apparently, so one character describing another, especially in a report, is a fun way around what could be a very cut-and-dry assignment. If you're not a Twilight fan and need a laugh, I recommend checking Mark's review out here.

[unwritten-muse.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the review link! I'll have to check it out. :)

[riverotter1951.livejournal.com]

This is brilliant. You have taken what could be a dull report and infused it with humor and wit. X has some skills but his liabilities outweigh those. If he succeeds it seems to be by dumb luck and not through intelligence. His inability to understand the cover story about his relationship with Agent Walker can easily cause problems in the future. Slight correction - is romantically linked Agent Walker should read is romantically linked [to] Agent Walker

[frea-o.livejournal.com]

Oooh, nice catch! I've been forgetting words lately, and I don't really have a beta look at the things I write quickly, so it's always appreciated when I get a chance to fix my typos.

Thank you for the compliments! I had a lot of time trying to figure out what Casey might say about Chuck, and that's pretty much Casey's entire stance in the first season. :)